How to conquer the fear of dreaming big
Imagine a driven young adult who doesn't believe in themselves. Let's say a carpenter who is a furniture builder. To make matters more interesting, the kid is good. You sit down to have coffee with them. Then, in a deflated tone, they tell you, "I still haven't released my work. I feel that I need more expertise before I begin sharing." You're probably feeling the need as a reader to jump into the story and tell the kid the excellence you see in their work. You see a beautifully sanded wooden chair and a stylish dresser, and the boy sees the fear of failure. It's such a shame that someone so talented can't imagine success.
Before we get comfortable being their savior and shedding words of wisdom on them, we must take a step back. If we look inward, each of us has that deflated child in our heads talking negatively about our endeavors. Whether it tells us, "I will never be good enough to get that girl." Or "I'll never get a raise based on this year's performance." Or "I am afraid to pursue my passions because I might fail." I've been grappling with the remedy. Asking the question, are we in control of what we tell ourselves? Can we tame this negative self-talk? And I've concluded that we will always have that voice in the background. We need to learn to generate our destiny using words instead of listening to the first automatically generated option. If your kitchen sink is gushing water onto the floor like a broken hydrant in New York City, you don't go to google and press "I'm feeling lucky."
If you think about the example of the carpenter, we can use that as a tool. Imagine the young boy, not willing to push past his doubts. Your first reaction as a mentor would be to offer the boy some words of encouragement. AKA, you have the power to speak positive words of success. That character lives within you. Use that same energy by yourself. Next time you have the fear of failure, or that you're not good enough, or that you don't deserve something, consider taking a bird's eye view. Tell yourself that you can accomplish what you set your mind to, that you are good enough, and most importantly, it's just a matter of time before others begin to see what you see.
For myself, it's bold to want to become an artist at age 28. Just a man with a passion and a love for the craft. I keep telling myself, "you're going to make another piece, and it won't sell." "You don't know what content people want on social media. Why even post?" I have to listen to all that bull shit and still decide to pick up the paintbrush. I still choose to set up my camera. I have no idea what type of feedback I will get, and I don't know what my audience seeks. But if I don't try, I will fail. So better to fail and learn than never do it at all.
